280208.2305.

After you told me everything,
I wondered how long have you felt that way.but i don't think it goes all the way to 2yrs back when we first came to know each other?

I admit.I'm not at all shocked.
I bet you noticed that too.
I'm pretty much composed.
not at all shaken.
I couldn't explain the serenity that I felt.
maybe I already have an answer at that moment.

The little things that you have done for me during the past few months
isn't that little at all.
I noticed it all,
though it might not seem to be that obvious or significant.

We talked a lot about "my ideal pretty Jap boyfriend"
and I realised
that you've changed in a way too.

I like it when you said
"if I sit the wrong bus, give me a call and I'll drive you to your next destination."
it really makes me smiles.

I felt comfortable when I'm with you.
but
being comfortable with someone isn't enough.
like what gf always say:
Being comfortable with someone doesn't spell l-o-v-e.

I've a very long talk with gf after I gt home.
My gf has been with me for 9yrs.
She knows me inside out, just like a lil worm living in my tummy.

I have become more clear-headed.
I know what I really want now.

Well.
Thanks for the roses.I really like it.its a perfect shade of red. =)
Thanks for the potatoes salad.I ate it all up without sharing with Boshy.
Thanks for the card. The message means really a lot to me.
and
everything else that you've done.

I really don't wish to lose you as a friend.
I like the way things are before all these.
I like taking.joking.craping.poking . you.
I really do cherish this special friendship.

so,forgive me,
for all the hurts that I've put you through.
but remember please,
that I'll be there for you too.

IthinkImighthavefallenforsomeone.as much as I don't wish to admit to myself.
it hit me.suddenly.when I thought of all these.
I guess that the main reason why I can't be with you.

I'm really sorry.
text me after you read this okay.
let me know that you are fine.

Botanical Garden

The meet up with keat
at Botanical Garden
with Boshy
in the late night
wasn't
awkward
at all.

It hit me as a big (nice) realization.
maybe I'm just a tad paranoid about everything in the first place.
when I think back now, I couldn't find the focal point to all the paranoid-ism.
(which is good in a way since I wouldn't want to remember much of those nervousness.)

=D

Botanical Garden has got pretty trees.
and they look really beautiful at night.
Its gave a magical feeling.
that I wouldn't dare to snap a picture
even though I really do want to.

Well.maybe the next time.when I brought my cam along.
I'll snap a picture (If the feeling it gave me is unlike last night.)

oh.and Boshy is so cute. I wore keat's cap home unconsciously. and (threw) it on the floor with my bag. Boshy sniffed the cap and rested his cute head there.
I thought of leaving the cap with Boshy for the rest of the night.
But.yes.I know I'll be in big trouble if Boshy gets hungry and
chew it up I guess.

Even if boshy show his cutest face, I doubt he can get away with it.
haha.




Keat.thanks for everything.
oh.and help me "wikipedia" the whole story of the mineral stone(erm.or is it limestone?) okay?
it feels funny to have it yet not knowing a single thing about it.

=)

Boshy has been going out pretty often lately. (the world most fortunate dog.haha)
Brought him to Punggol Jetty last Sunday.
We told Boshy that we'll bring him to as many places in the world as we could. (oh.maybe.it just Singapore la)





I didn't know that it is a WWII site.cool.












Jappie exam on Mon is do-able since I sat in between Pam and a Jappie pro girl.
Almost the whole row copied their answer.
so we are all gonna pass it!

=)





Jaren great idea of gathering after the last Jap class.
Everywhere was pretty much packed.
and so
we just hang around at some back alley.


Well.I'm going to start work this Sat with a freaking 5.45am shift.
and
I'm going to remove my braces in 1mth time (okay.slightly more than that)
the thought of both makes me feel delirious.

oh.Jo.I'm gg to see you tmr.
cant wait!

=D

compulsive habits.

220208. when the night turned dark,and the clock strike twelve.The house at Lorang Batawi turned to dead silence. The lively sounds of people messing up the tiles with their heart content, tete-a-tete of the human world, drinking the water that give them life, all stopped when the last bell rang.

oh.cause they are all craving for ice-cream!
so they all stopped playing mahjong!


SHIT.


oh.anyway.we are all craving for ice-cream while playing mahjong.
the craving is so strong.
so we hurried out to catch the last bus down to the ice-cream cafe opposite Chomp Chomp.


Ice-cube!
it opens till 2am!

We all ordered alcoholic ice-cream.
heavenly.
Its really fun. you get to choose your choice of ice-cream and your preferred shots.





thats cookie and cream with Baileys.

=D

all you have to do is just pour the baileys over the ice-cream...


and eat like you really mean it...



divine.like totally.



okay.I know I look horrendous. but it is midnight. no one is looking anyway.


cause they will all be looking at my pretty gfs instead!
haha!

oh.and I feel so bloody stupid now.
Keat was at a party last night and said that he doesn't knows how to play mahjong...
and so....
I texted him this....

The 3 easy steps for beginners in mahjong. First, mess up the tiles. You can imagine that you are swimming and the tiles are little fishes. 2^nd, stack those tiles up like lego. 19 or 18 tiles for 2 rows. Make sure it looks smth like the great wall of china. Oh lastly, just say PONG and CHI and throw tiles at people!

When I read it from his blog just a moment ago.
I felt so embarrassed of myself.
pffft.

okay.I'm gg for picnic dinner later on.
cant wait for potatoes salad!

=D

grey.

210208

I'm really bored this afternoon.
and so...
I have home-made sushi for lunch.

=D


making sushi is easy...all you need is some rice.Japanese vinegar.seaweed.crabmeat( i like crabmeat mayo.its really yummy!)
and the sushi box to cramp the rice altogether.



oh.you need good rolling skills too. If not it will end up as gross as mine.


I cleared the mess in my room.

I wanted to pamper myself with manicure.painting it with nice shade of white.but
I'm too lazy to trim and file my nails.



I ended up infront of my piano for almost the whole afternoon.
I played and you-tubed for comparison.
and I realised that I sucked completely.

I like watching little children sitting infront of the piano and playing their heart out.
the sight of it is oh-so-inresistable.
and they are so amused that their parent are filming them.
I wish I could hug and tickle them.

=)







Well. we have steamboat for dinner again.
as in a very mini steamboat since there are only three of us.
so mummy say no teppan-yaki for today.

=(



Went over to Xuan' house after dinner.
That cute girl has got big plans on Sunday.
I admired her for her guts.
It is something I would never dare to do.
The power of love doesn't drive me to do great things, it just simply drives me mad.


I got my Yakuza Moon book. (like finally! haha)
cant wait to read it.

and Xuan. thanks for the beanies!
love ya!

=)




I couldn't comprehend your thoughts
not at all
but
I 've got a good feeling about it all.

horrible realization.

Today is the last day of school.
and it is the day that I went to school alone.
Indeed, alone. though I met fishy along the way.
Everyone has different interview timing.and thats explain why.

Desmond is funny.
He arranged three tables in between us.
me: why are we sitting this way?
Cute Desmond: oh.cause I'm afraid that u'll see your mark. (and he points to the score)
me: (tip-toe a bit). but i already saw it. I got a 65?!
Cute Desmond: whoops! erm...u see wrongly la.
me: I dont think so. HAHA.

how funny can he be? (verydarnsofunny)
Maggie Seow came in and ask him to go outside since she gots a few ques to ask him.
Desmond looks at me, and carried the whole box of thesis and his document.
He claims that I will peek through everything if he is not around.


Met Debbie after lesson to post our applications.
and I almost dropped it into the FRANKED MAIL box.

I hate it when I think way too much.
too much that my head is so heavy.
its like a huge stone contained inside your head
and you just couldnt get it out.
making it worse is the hustle and bustle around you that makes your head spins like how the earth is spinning now.
its not really that bad.I'm exaggerating. but its pretty bad.

and so I head off to a place where I know I will step out feeling never like before.






Yes.I went to Nativity Church.
Its a weekday and there isn't any services going on.
Its nice.I like to be alone.

I prayed.and I broke down.
when I thought of all the small little different aspects in my life.
the realization of horrible truth.
the uncertainty in the certainty .
the impossibilities as well as possibilities.

I seek for help.
I know I will get the signs.
I know I will receive the answer.

and so,
I left the church
a tad more light-headed
a little more clear-headed
with a small bounce in every step I took.

loaded

Tmr will spell the last day of school for me.
after my 15mins interview with cute Desmond Lim. =D

Uni applications are making me perspiring for no reason.
I felt nervous even typing in my own name.
and much worse when I clicked the submit button.
when there's nothing to be nerve-wrecking about.

Steamboat at Tami's house was G-R-E-A-T even though only five out of 8 of us turned up.
Well, there's Pam, Brenda, Jaren, Tami (ofcourse) and myself.

Pam and I went to catch another of Jack Neo's production.
The Ah Long show.
Pam purchased the tickets first since I'm erm terribly late. She said that she feels funny buying the tickets and kept laughing. (HAHA!)

oh.I want to watch The Water Horse. It looks cute. (but boshy is still cuter.)


and Tami's grand piano is awesome. (I thought of stealing it)
her computer speakers are good too. (Pam thought of stealing that)






Its pretty obvious that this is Pam's hand.

oh.and this is dear Tami!


Pam got pretty high when Tami and I played instrumental classical music. (she's that funny)
haha.
Well. cause the music that we played are like..................
"very-suitable-to-play-when-there's-a-thunderstorm"
that explains why Pam is so deliriously excited.

Steamboat. (makes me happy.haha.)

Merlot. (makes me equally happy too)

Jaren makes Mango Pudding and its heart-shaped.(he loves all of us la!)
haha.
I've to admit that it is reallyreally yummy! (for once)


Our Dear Brenda.
Loves the way she strum the guitar even though almost all the songs are mandarin-pop.


Made by Xuan with Love:






MotherGarden is absolute love.... 150208


We intended to go Yum Cha.
but that cunning restaurant doesn't offer buffet during New Year period.
what a wet blanket.
so we heard off to Tian Xin Lou instead.


oh.I think this picture of Jarett is classic.haha.
my dearest.


Steamboat at Cher's House... 110208.


Sundae is cute.Boshy is cuter. =D

Okay.I just woke up.
I fell asleep infront of my com.
argh.


BYE!