horrible realization.

Today is the last day of school.
and it is the day that I went to school alone.
Indeed, alone. though I met fishy along the way.
Everyone has different interview timing.and thats explain why.

Desmond is funny.
He arranged three tables in between us.
me: why are we sitting this way?
Cute Desmond: oh.cause I'm afraid that u'll see your mark. (and he points to the score)
me: (tip-toe a bit). but i already saw it. I got a 65?!
Cute Desmond: whoops! erm...u see wrongly la.
me: I dont think so. HAHA.

how funny can he be? (verydarnsofunny)
Maggie Seow came in and ask him to go outside since she gots a few ques to ask him.
Desmond looks at me, and carried the whole box of thesis and his document.
He claims that I will peek through everything if he is not around.


Met Debbie after lesson to post our applications.
and I almost dropped it into the FRANKED MAIL box.

I hate it when I think way too much.
too much that my head is so heavy.
its like a huge stone contained inside your head
and you just couldnt get it out.
making it worse is the hustle and bustle around you that makes your head spins like how the earth is spinning now.
its not really that bad.I'm exaggerating. but its pretty bad.

and so I head off to a place where I know I will step out feeling never like before.






Yes.I went to Nativity Church.
Its a weekday and there isn't any services going on.
Its nice.I like to be alone.

I prayed.and I broke down.
when I thought of all the small little different aspects in my life.
the realization of horrible truth.
the uncertainty in the certainty .
the impossibilities as well as possibilities.

I seek for help.
I know I will get the signs.
I know I will receive the answer.

and so,
I left the church
a tad more light-headed
a little more clear-headed
with a small bounce in every step I took.